Success at Howard University can sometimes be measured by what others can see: internships, leadership titles, organizations, job offers and accomplishments posted online. But four Howard men gathered in the School of Business (SOB) last week to discuss what happens between those achievements.
At “Becoming HIM” students discussed their experiences navigating manhood at Howard, from accepting failure and asking for help to maintaining their identities while pursuing professional success.
The conversation was moderated by Mister School of Business, Brooklyn Barros, and featured panelists Deshawn Napier, Joseph Mackey and Maison Smith. The event was presented by the SOB Royals in collaboration with the YouLead Black Male Initiative.
Much of the conversation focused on the difference between appearing successful and actually growing into the person one wants to become.
For Barros, a junior marketing major from Boston, that growth has required experiencing failure firsthand. During his freshman year, Barros ran for SOB Freshman Council secretary and advanced to a runoff, but ultimately lost the election.
Instead of allowing the loss to discourage him from pursuing other leadership positions, Barros said he used the campaign as preparation for opportunities that came later.
“I could have taken that experience to be like, ‘Oh, I’m never running for anything again. I’m never doing a campaign,” Barros said during the panel. “But instead, I took all the lessons I learned.”
Those lessons included developing a platform, meeting students, organizing events, creating campaign graphics and learning how to communicate his ideas. Barros later used that experience in his winning campaign for Mister SOB.
“I feel like failure is so important. Nothing happens on the first try,” Barros said.
Barros encouraged students to not become so afraid of losing that they stop putting themselves in situations where failure is possible.
“Don’t be afraid to not take risks because you’re scared of failing,” Barros said. “That’s even worse.”
Barros and Smith, insert Howard intro, pointed out that setbacks are not the end of the process; they are actually an integral part of growth.
“If you don’t fail, then you will never succeed,” Smith said.
Barros followed up that message by encouraging students to learn from their failures rather than being discouraged by them.
“If you take your experience and you fail, then you learn from it,” Barros said. “It’ll help you in a bigger thing.”
The conversation about failure resonated with Gabriel Smith, a freshman finance major from Melville, New Jersey, who attended the event as he started trying to figure out his own path at Howard.
One lesson Gabriel learned was that not every situation requires a reaction.
“Not everything deserves a response,” Gabriel said, explaining that responding to every comment or criticism can give unnecessary energy to other people.
Mackey, a junior finance major from Tampa, Florida discussed another challenge: being comfortable not knowing all of the answers.
He recalled watching professionals with years of experience openly admit when they did not know something, which he said showed him that asking questions was not a sign of inexperience or weakness. That willingness to ask questions became part of a larger conversation about ego and the pressure on men to appear self-sufficient.
“…It was an understanding that you don’t know everything and that’s perfectly fine,” Mackey said.
Building on Mackey’s point, Napier encouraged students not to let their pride prevent them from seeking guidance and taking advantage of opportunities to grow.
“Don’t allow your ego to block your blessings,” Napier, a senior finance major from Haggerston, Maryland, warned the audience.
Panelists also encouraged students to seek advice from mentors and peers rather than allowing pride to get in the way and prevent them from accessing the community around them. For Mackey, Howard itself can serve as a place to practice those skills before entering professional environments.
“Use Howard as a training room,” Mackey encouraged.
The conversation also shifted towards how Black men present themselves professionally.
The panelists emphasized that presentation matters, but said students should ultimately work towards becoming so skilled that their skills are difficult to overlook.
Smith expanded the discussion beyond clothing and grooming, arguing that professionalism should not require students to abandon their personalities.
“Always making sure that you’re yourself no matter what,” Smith said. “You’re not compromising who you are.”
He acknowledged that Black men can enter professional environments already facing assumptions about how they look, speak or present themselves. For him, the challenge is understanding professional expectations without allowing those same expectations to erase individuality.
“Make sure that you’re able to show a professional version of yourself while still keeping who you are at the forefront,” Smith said. “Because if you lose yourself, then you have nothing.”
Copy edited by Sydney Middleton
